she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
