Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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