i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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