So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Randomize
