i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
