I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
