What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
