I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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