She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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