textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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