I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize