You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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