can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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