So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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