who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
