I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
