i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
