i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
