guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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