Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
