Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Actions speak louder than pants.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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