come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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