If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize