i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
