good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
