He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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