so that wasnt chicken after all
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
