we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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