I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
