Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
