is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
