Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think people are normalizing furries
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
