i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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