Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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