I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
