just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
