omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
