I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
