at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
