I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
