She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
