so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
