I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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