This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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