this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
