Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize