I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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