Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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