I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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