I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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