no you cant smoke seaweed
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Randomize
