so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Of course I have a pirate flag
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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