belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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