He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
