you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize