I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
