More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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