That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
