either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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