the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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