Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
